Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
