My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
