belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How does one acquire holy water?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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