smell my finger.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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