i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
