He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
