Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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