how can u be prego again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
