i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize