I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Two words: blizzard sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize