Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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