It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
