i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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