Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
