I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
