Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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