As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
