I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
