There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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