Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
