Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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