So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
