just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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