Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
