a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
