You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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