My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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