how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
