She said her name was "party"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
