turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Found your dick twin last night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
