the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize