He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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