I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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