I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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