I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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