Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
