Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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