how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
