I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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