Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize