then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
