can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
