The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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