it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
