Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
