Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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