dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
