What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
