Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry about my life...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
