We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
