Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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