suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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