you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
