Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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