why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
