I smell stomach acid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
