made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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