I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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