some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
