I love black thongs
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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