dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
