Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
