at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
