you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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