Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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