I puked a lego.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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