His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize