I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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