her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize