Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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