nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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