hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
