Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
